Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
