I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
