we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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