I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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