I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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