Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize