I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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