So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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