I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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