I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
