is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
accomplished twins. life is a go
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
