She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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