i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
