If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Im part way to drunk.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
