Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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