Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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