I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
