I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Someone came in the potted fern
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
