I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
