I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
