Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
