I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
