I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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