she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
