If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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