So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize