im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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