In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
