Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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