Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
