Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the day after is always just damage control
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize