Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
