are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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