Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
