So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
