So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
