i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
