What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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