Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Still dying that you shit outside
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
