when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
