if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
