so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
my poor anus
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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