We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have already put on my inside pants.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
