If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize