my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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