butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize