i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
