Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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