walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
