Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
