One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
