3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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