Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
