Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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