i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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