There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
