We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
