I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
