I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
