so that wasnt chicken after all
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
