I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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