Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
