so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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