I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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