remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
