Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
