$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize