Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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