How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
