Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
