I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
