just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Did I show you my penis last night?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
