You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
