We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
